1. The Smile Police Guy
What’s his deal: Doesn’t see anything wrong with telling you — a whole entire grown-ass woman—to fix your face, especially if he thinks you’re hot.
Favorite lines:
“Why are you so mad? Smile, beautiful!”
“You’re pretty, but you’d be prettier if you smiled!”
“It’s gonna be a good day! Smile, little lady.”
2. The Objectifier Guy
What’s his deal: Thinks you’re a walking pair of tits and ass that comes in assorted flavors: caramel, dark chocolate, white chocolate, etc. Will eye fuck the shit outta you. Is missing that filter that stops people from saying whatever the fuck’s on their mind. Would legit kill another guy if they said those things to his mother/sister/daughter.
Favorite lines:
“Hello, sexy.”
“Look at that [enter body part here]!!!”
“DAYUM!!!”
“God bless you.”
Favorite lines:
“Hello, sexy.”
“Look at that [enter body part here]!!!”
“DAYUM!!!”
“God bless you.”
3. The Jokester Guy
What’s his deal: Never grew out of the “annoying you means I like you” phase. Cracks the corniest jokes, usually about sharing your ice cream cone with him or getting married.
Favorite lines:
“I’ll massage your feet cuz you been running through my mind all day.”
“Will you marry me?”
“Can’t we just be friends?”
“Aww! You’re not gonna share?”
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